Archives for July 2000

to work this morning, I just came across the strangest thing on the Macwarehouse Canada site. A little deconstruction is in order.

• Apple Canada’s current e-commerce regulations prohibit any Apple authorized reseller to sell Apple product on-line through the Internet. As a strategic partner of Apple Canada, we support that position and will continue to follow their strategy.
  This might as well read, “OK, Apple just fucked us, but we’re gonna suck up anyhow cause we’re getting rich off catalog sales.”
• Micro Warehouse has decided that this restriction should not be a factor in collecting important information from our customers.
  “We still want to invade your privacy though kids, so we’re going to datamine you for all you’re worth, which frankly might not be much but hey, this is e-commerce, baby!”
• We have developed the following program that supports Apple Canada’s e-commerce strategy and benefits the customer.
  “We have developed the following BS so we can nominally support their screwed-up policy while selling you, dear customer, down the river.”
• A value add feature has been added to all Apple product on our website.
  “Look at how great we are at using pass buzzwords like ‘value add’! Boy are we ever smart! We can suck up to Apple AND trash their policies in one fell swoop!”